DUDE!

I just heard from a reliable source that the guy who dumped me 3 times over the summer is messing around with two girls now. One girl, who he was seeing just before me, and some other girl I don't know. So now I think to myself, "Why was I so hung up on this guy?" Why did I waste my tears on him when I should have been with someone else over the summer and actually been happy. It's funny how we go for the wrong people all the time and either let go or never notice the people who are truly right for us. I know you're probably tired of me babble on about silly love stuff but I can't help it. I find it interesting how we deal with relationships. I think in this guys case since his separtation from his wife and his weight loss he is just reliving his single days which he missed out on. So why not just tell me that! Why go through all the BS that we went through over the summer! What really makes me mad is the time I wasted on him...I'll never get back.

To be or Not to be

So I took out my chalks the other day and just made some abstract picture in my sketchbook. I was making dinner, listening to music, and creating this piece of art all from my cozy aptartment in Chicago. It felt so nice to do that...be creative. I still want to pursue my art but have been confused on how to do it. I have been getting advice from friends and family with no simple solution or easy way to do it...yet. It's time for more thinking and strategy planning.

Life happens

So my life has taken yet another tumble. The guy I was seeing over the summer dumped me for the third time and my job has scaled back quite considerably. I really tried to do things right this time with meeting a guy and taking things slow. I did well until he felt we weren't compatible which is cool except he did this 3 times. I think karma is kicking my ass and I so deserve it. As far as my job...I am going back to being a teller for the credit union I work for and in the end it's for the best. The job just wasn't for me and I am sad but glad to be moving out of it. In so many ways I feel like I failed but it's probably a blessing in disguise. You know when things are just so out of whack that your self esteem goes to it's all time low? Well, that is how I have felt for the past 3 months but I am slowing getting it back and recovering from all of this. All I can say is thank goodness for friends and family I would not have survived without you. I love you :)

Tired

I am mentally drained and
I'm tired of being strained
Push me in the lake
Just do it already for Goodness sake
I want to forgive and forget
about you and all my "not regrets"
It's not fair but I tried to fight
I lost a bet to myself
I was being selfish alright
It's not just me that got hurt I have to think about you and how you couldn't convert
We gave a go and now we're done
I just want to move on and shoot for the sun

The Whole Foods Boys

So, I was in Whole Foods with my mom today and posed a question to myself. Why are almost all the guys who work at Whole Foods good looking? So instead of pondering over this I decided to write a poem about it. I've got the begining verse and just wanted to share so here goes:

Smelling sweet like the mango
Walking past him getting tangled
With another cart
One look at me and you've stolen my heart

I have a whole lot more just need to put it togehter. I was so excited about this I just had to post or bost whichever you want to call it.

Horoscope and Chicago Update

Gemini Horoscope for today -

You're not interested in simplicity, at all! In fact, you never are, that's just not your nature. If you refuse to live an austere lifestyle - that's ok - just don't force your crazy, complicated life on those you're romantically linked to.

Lidia says: True Dat! I am a social, emotional, and non-domestic mess these days.

Chicago update:

Well, I am happy to announce that Dana (my new roommate) and I were approved for an apartment on Monday! We just need to sign the lease and figure out our move date. If anyone is interested in assisting me move I promise to feed you beer and pizza afterwards! Whoo Hoo!

A sorta new poem

City

you embrace me with your open arms
and all my conflictions disappear
I walk the streets and you're all around
in the city lights and the puddles on the ground

the tracks rattle with years of pain
much like my life that was off track w/ only me to blame
I lost my way down a crowded street
the busy traffic sounds like a crazy beat

tens years of wasted time
then one day it started to unwind
living in this place kills my inspirational grace
I need to break away explore what makes me
it's where I wants to be

I click my heels three times "there's no place like the city"
life's about quality, not working and feeling shitty
the train whistle blows the light blinds my eyes
reality sets in and I've been living a lie

spring comes so quickly on a breeze
snow melts and the ground starts to unfreeze
make your move from pawn to queen
I need to start living life so it seems