Need to Vent

I thought we had it good. Things were going so well and then out of left field these feelings had come over him. Was it the fact that I live in the city, was it that he couldn't afford to come out to see me, was it the kids? Was it the fact that he was trying to start his life over and I just didn't fit in anywhere? These are questions that will never be answered leaving me with a hollow heart. He says it's not me but how can I believe that when he says he can't be himself around me. I am not the kind of person who make someone feel that way...am I? I knew that we could've gone somewhere, I knew we would've been great, I knew it would've been effortless...I knew it was too good to be true. Damn my myself for jinxing it like that. Some people find their soul mates, some people don't. I may be wandering the planet alone and maybe that is not so bad...right? I should except my fate. Should I give up on the idea that someone can love me as much as I could love them? What a stupid world we live in. There has only been 1 other time that I knew these feelings were possible...why do they fade away? Why do we falter as human beings? Will he ever be able to feel that way again? I know once I have negative feelings they can never return so I guess I have my answer right in front of me. I am not the one, he is not the one, we will never be one.

The Whole Foods Boys

So, I was in Whole Foods with my mom today and posed a question to myself. Why are almost all the guys who work at Whole Foods good looking? So instead of pondering over this I decided to write a poem about it. I've got the begining verse and just wanted to share so here goes:

Smelling sweet like the mango
Walking past him getting tangled
With another cart
One look at me and you've stolen my heart

I have a whole lot more just need to put it togehter. I was so excited about this I just had to post or bost whichever you want to call it.

Horoscope and Chicago Update

Gemini Horoscope for today -

You're not interested in simplicity, at all! In fact, you never are, that's just not your nature. If you refuse to live an austere lifestyle - that's ok - just don't force your crazy, complicated life on those you're romantically linked to.

Lidia says: True Dat! I am a social, emotional, and non-domestic mess these days.

Chicago update:

Well, I am happy to announce that Dana (my new roommate) and I were approved for an apartment on Monday! We just need to sign the lease and figure out our move date. If anyone is interested in assisting me move I promise to feed you beer and pizza afterwards! Whoo Hoo!

A sorta new poem

City

you embrace me with your open arms
and all my conflictions disappear
I walk the streets and you're all around
in the city lights and the puddles on the ground

the tracks rattle with years of pain
much like my life that was off track w/ only me to blame
I lost my way down a crowded street
the busy traffic sounds like a crazy beat

tens years of wasted time
then one day it started to unwind
living in this place kills my inspirational grace
I need to break away explore what makes me
it's where I wants to be

I click my heels three times "there's no place like the city"
life's about quality, not working and feeling shitty
the train whistle blows the light blinds my eyes
reality sets in and I've been living a lie

spring comes so quickly on a breeze
snow melts and the ground starts to unfreeze
make your move from pawn to queen
I need to start living life so it seems

Columbia

So for those of you who still read this...
I am very excited to say that this Satrday I am going to Columbia's open house, Columbia Art School that is.
It starts at 10:00am and goes until about 3:00pm. I am going to drive to Ravenswood and take the L from there so I can start to get aquainted w/ the public transportation. I am still planning to move to the city w/ my friend Dana by the end of May . I have to make an appointmentvw/ the apt. Finder company at the begining of April so we can start looking at places. I have to say that I am very excited for this change that is about to happen to my life. It will all eventually fall into place for me...i have foreseen it in my dreams.

My poor boxes

This how Fed Ex packs your stuff if it falls apart on the journey home.

Toolz nite out!

Kelly said it perfectly...we (the toolz) should not hang out all time because we would probably get into so much trouble. Kelly, Lynn, and I are having a sleepover tonight and at the spur of the moment on our way to dinner we went and got new piercings.